Boring People who "Like" "Food"

I have a new theory about why so many people are so into "food," "travel," or "the outdoors." These are things that people say they're into when they are essentially boring people.

I mean... yes... someone can be a genuine nature lover. A guy I know from work goes to great lengths and hikes through muddy swamps and whatnot in order to take pictures of outdoor scenes. But a) he's a very good photographer and b) he's also into all sorts of other stuff.

Here's my point. How many people are NOT into good food? Most people like it. How many people never travel or never go outdoors? There are probably some, but, basically, when I talk about the 25 year old girls who list their hobbies as 'food' and 'travel' I mean... which of their peers dislikes these things? These are not hobbies. Eating is not a hobby. Everybody eats. In fact, eating good food is not a hobby. If you are a single person living in a city, going to restaurants is not an interesting hobby - most people do it. Do you think they don't enjoy the good restaurants more than the bad restaurants? Who doesn't like to go to good restaurants with their friends and have fun? That's just regular people stuff. Is there nothing better you can think of to list as a hobby? Nothing that would differentiate you from... all other humans?

My new hobby is breathing. Not just breathing... but breathing well. Sometimes I think about breathing a lot. I check my pulse. I even jog to try to improve my breathing. I hold my breath and time myself. I'm pretty into breathing. That's my hobby. I'm so unique.

I have a friend who's a chef. If she said her hobby was cooking, it would only be inaccurate in the sense that she gets paid for it, so perhaps it's more than a hobby. I'm not talking about people who are chefs.

Now... I like food, restaurants, travel, and the outdoors. However, I also like tons of other things -- things that are more unique and distinguish me more from other people. So, if asked, I might say my hobbies are "foreign movies," "philosophy," "RPG/FPS/RTS games," "the History Channel," "building computers," "basketball," "starting businesses," and "writing letters to Condoleezza Rice." It's not that I don't like food, it's that I spend my life on a broader range of activities than enhancing my sustenance-taking experience.

If you imagine the boring 22-year old girl from San Jose who lists her hobbies as food and travel, yet knows little-to-nothing about cooking or geography, put her hobbies in perspective. She is a boring person with no hobbies to speak of.

Before you say you are "really into food," ask yourself... are you? Are you more into food than other people? Than all your peers? I'm sure you know more about some kind of cuisine that someone else you know... but are you into Mediterranean food? Do you know much about it? Do you think that "white meat" is "bland?" Do you know which desserts came from Italy, and not France? Do you know the difference between real Japanese food and fake Japanese food? Are you sure? Do you know what part of a cow the sirloin comes from? Do you know what Swiss Chard is? Would you fall for the Pizza Hut trick? Do you understand that all things are not made better by adding more salt? Are you sure that in a blind taste test you wouldn't systematically prefer the dishes with more salt? Most people do. Of course, then again, most people think they can taste the salt content of food, but most people can't (they can only taste the salt crystals on the oustide of food).

I'm not a foodie, and I don't claim to be one, but I suspect I know more about food than most of you do, and yet you list your hobby as "food." I think this means you're boring.

There's something even more sinister than this, though. You might be worse than boring; you might be spoiled and vain. Let's say that there is some 25 yr old girl from SF who posts all her pics of herself at restaurants, with her friends, and all their food. She claims she "loves GOOD sushi, not that shit that they have at Korean-owned sushi restaurants" (nevermind that sushi is Korean, too, or that you could theoretically have a good hamburger made by a South African guy in Mexico). She has been to lots of places in the world with her parents, for a semester abroad, and on trips that her boyfriend pays for. She lists her hobbies as "travel" and "eating - i love to choW dOWn!"

Now, take another girl who's 25 and lives in the Bay Area, but can't afford to eat at fancy restaurants or go on trips to Rio and Tokyo. Does she actually have different hobbies? No, she doesn't. In fact, the second she got a chance to go to Tokyo, she would start putting down "I love REAL Japanese food" and "travel" as her hobbies. They are already her hobbies, because they are already things she cares about; she just can't afford them. When you say that your hobbies are travel and "finding good restaurants" or whatever, and you aren't really that into either one, any more than anyone else is, then the only way in which you're actually differentiating yourself is that either a) you are well enough off to afford these things, b) you get people to buy you these things, or c) you have nothing else to do, so the second you have free time you always spend it traveling or going to restaurants.

Congratulations - you have showed how unique you are. Find a real hobby. Or, better, yet, do something with your life.